He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
