how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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