Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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