I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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