dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
