Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
