She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
