I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
