then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
