I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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