I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize