do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
