I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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