you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
