i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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