The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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