I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
