May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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