He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Where is the hickey?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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