Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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