Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
