This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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