Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
The ass gains better be worth it
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