Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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