are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
