you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
