Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
