Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
