She is in my trunk
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Say something about gay babies.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
