he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
