What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Randomize
