Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
id be glad to
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
