Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
