Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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