I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
