I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize