I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
