do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
