So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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