Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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