He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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