before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
