i jhust puked up my retainher.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
