I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize