Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
