I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Found your dick twin last night
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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