i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
