what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
