I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
