As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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