yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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