Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize