just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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