I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
