big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
