Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
