I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize