Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry TheseAreMemes hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(206): View more from Washington

Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.

Fav 3 808 2173
share tweet
(407): View more from Florida

No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal

Fav 10 3959 1299
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(914): View more from New York

I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.

Fav 22 5993 1166
share tweet
(303): View more from Colorado

You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.

(1-303): View more from Colorado

ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.

Fav 17 13202 2112
share tweet
(785): View more from Kansas

Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.

Fav 14 2981 1248
share tweet
(847): View more from Illinois

When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.

Fav 4 898 1679
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(817): View more from Texas

Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."

Fav 10 2306 811
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(402): View more from Nebraska

Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.

Fav 2 59 11
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(563): View more from Iowa

dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes

Fav 0 37 49
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT