So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
