RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I'm passing your future prison.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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