Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
