Reggie can tackle my bush.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
