So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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